real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
