When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
