He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
