I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
