Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize