"it" just moved
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
