the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize