So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
