how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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