youre lurking in front of me
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
