i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
