If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
