why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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