apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
