No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
