You're so nebulous sometimes
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
