I can tuck mytits in my pants
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
