I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
