I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
