Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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