Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
