ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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