I heard we made out
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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