she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
