She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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