In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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