Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
