so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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