fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
