weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
