im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize