Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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