so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
