so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I deserve this hangover.
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