i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize