What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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