So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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