Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I came so hard my ears popped.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize