But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
