I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize