Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
