Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
