At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
