my mouth tastes like poor choices
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
