i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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