Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
