Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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