How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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