i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
