turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She even gives head with a lisp.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
