Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
