Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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