that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
