to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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