5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
