just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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