Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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