his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
