I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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