theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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