Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
