I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
