And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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