I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize
