So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
