How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
