I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
