Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
