His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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