i will never coherently bang her
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
