Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
