I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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