Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
