Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
and you fell through a lawn chair
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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